Warren F. Sapp, Havoc Wreaker Extraordinare.
I used to think Twitter was the dumbest thing in the history of dumbness, which, at least in the free world, is a rather prolific history. How lazily self-involved could one be? “People want to hear about me all the time in tiny, poorly-punctuated sentence fragments.” Or worse: “I’m going to sit at my computer and read about what other people are doing in the real world.” Yikes. Well, congratulations, self- you’re now both of those people.
I signed up for Twitter as a simple supplement to my amateur blogger efforts. Two weeks in, I can tell you without a shred of doubt that there will someday soon be a medically-recognized condition called Tweetaholism and its sufferers will require a twelve-step program. Fortunately, I don’t have the time to sit around watching it all day- I check in a few times a day and make my contribution to the vast tweether. But the gap between what I thought Twitter was and what it clearly is could not have been wider.
In two weeks as a Twitter user, I’ve received a direct message from ESPN’s NFL connector Adam Schefter (tiny note of thanks for a tweet of mine crediting him for calling Sam Bradford as #1 overall way back), got a RT (re-tweet, for the uninitiated) from the Sports Guy (about a poop joke, naturally), collected a few of my own followers, and then today, the coup d’ grace: a 5-tweet exchange with none other than #99 himself: Mr. Warren F. Sapp.
You have to understand- Sapp is a favorite. As celebrated as he was as a player, I think it is still fair to call him underrated. There might not have been a better 4-3 DT ever. He lived in the opponent’s backfield and got after the quarterback from the interior like nobody else I’ve ever seen. The Dungy/Gruden Tampa 2 was built around Big Poppa Dubs, as we used to call him back then. As an analyst, #99 is a speaker of truths, which is exactly what I’m looking for from these people. I forget who he was talking about- I want to say Kwame Harris- but Sapp said “he can’t block Mercedes Sapp (his daughter).” About Vernon Gholston: “Bottom line: He doesn’t like contact.” A dislike of contact, you see, is a rather unfortunate quality for an NFL linebacker to possess. But most analysts won’t call it that openly. They’ll say something benign that sounds like a scout trying to appear nuanced: “He struggles to shed blocks.” Nonsense. These guys are all big and strong and athletic. He who wants it more and is more physical wins. It is a merit-based, zero-sum game. You either win or lose each play and each game, and that is why I love both the game and Sapp. He tells it like it is.
My exchange with #99 was brief- I tweeted his on-air comment that he expected Tim Tebow to play this year, and added my agreement on the basis of my having seen Kyle Orton and Brady Quinn play (so, it’s not like we’re splitting atoms here). He sent a tweet of agreement that I was able to forward on to my own followers, along with a follow-up to Sapp on whether he liked the Bucs’ two new DT’s, Gerald McCoy and Brian Price. His response came in tweet just moments later: “Yes i DO like the DT’s.” Simple, concise, and straight from the source. Honestly, as a fan, it doesn’t get too much better. I was sitting there, wondering what one of the all-time NFL greats was thinking about a specific NFL topic, typed it into the magic box and got a verifiably genuine response. Unreal. The 13-year old me is hyperventilating and preparing some kind of tweet preservation device. As a kid I used to wait after games clamoring at the chain-link fence protecting the players’ lot in hopes of maybe having one of my sports heroes put pen to paper and sign their name. The chance to occasionally interact directly is just straight-up cool.
Even cooler- #99 and I agree on the Bucs’ DT’s. How do I know? He said so. How do you like them apples?
UPDATE: A bit later, Jim Mora, Jr. had this to tweet about #99: “@QBKILLA Two couldn’t stop you, you redefined the position of 3 Technique. Everyone looking for the ‘next Warren Sapp’, not gonna happen.”
So, yeah. What he said.