- That Horse-Toothed Bastard: Former Denver Broncos Quarterback John Elway.
- Dawg Pound West: Wherever the Sickness Editor-In-Chief is on gameday.
- #__: Elite, Sickness-favorite players are often referred to by only their numbers. This is a distinction not loosely granted. Same goes for first name only references. See, for example, “#18” (Peyton Manning), #99 (Warren Sapp), and, of course, Bo.
- Middle initial “F.” Um…you should probably be able to figure this one out. Certain players earn an “F” as a result of their play on the field. Unlike in the classroom, here at FootballSickness.com it is a profane, and profound, compliment.
- GRUDES: Jonathan F. Gruden, Preferred Future Head Coach of the Cleveland Browns.
- The Turd: Braylon Edwards. This one’s revocable, but, so far it’s not looking good. Drop another one. Seriously, dude.
- Number Two: Recently-flushed Raiders quarterback Jamarcus Russell
- The Bonecrusher: Bernard F. Pollard, Safety for the Houston Texans. See also Knee, Tom Brady’s.
- Acute Tinkeritis: A disease specific to fantasy football owners. Primary symptom is the inability to stop trading and cycling waiver acquisitions on a weekly basis.
- Big Scary Monster: In football, a top defender with immense physicality. See Willis, Patrick.
- The Manguin: Eric Mangini,
currentformer head football coach of the Cleveland Browns. - Sabanized: A status symbol, reflecting one’s having been trained and/or coached by current University of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban.
- The Schwartz: Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz.
- The Sausage King of Pittsburgh: Big Ben Roethlisberger.
- Ol’ What’shisname: 2-time Super Bowl Champion head coach Mike Shanahan.
- The Chico Kid: Aaron Rodgers, after his hometown and his gunslingin’ ways.
- The Tebowlievers: A massive swath of America blinded by their love for one Timothy F. Tebow, who we at FootballSickness.com genuinely like and enjoy watching play but can somehow, magically, simultaneously acknowledge that he can’t hit the broad side of a frigging barn on half of his passes. It’s ok to notice, people.
OTA's, ADP's & UDFA's. Training Camp Can't Come Soon Enough.
