One hundred numbers, one hundred men. The Hall of Sickness is dedicated to our favorite players, those who exemplify the way we like the game played and the personality with which we like it played. These are “our” guys. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the best ever (though many are), just that they’re our collective favorites. Certainly Walter Payton’s career was superior to Bo Jackson’s, but Bo Jackson is my guy, and he’s going in. Get it? Peruse, enjoy, comment below and chime in on any number not already assigned…we’re keeping score. But make sure you GET YOUR HELMET ON, because it’s tougher than you think to narrow some of ’em down to just one guy.
NUMBER 4: BRETT F. FARVE
- All-time great quarterback won 3 straight MVP’s and a Super Bowl in the mid-’90’s.
- Absurdly tough. Played in 9,538,267 straight games and counting.
- Cameo in “There’s Something About Mary”
- Plays the game with childlike joy and Kreskin-like magicianship.
NUMBER 12: THOMAS F. BRADY
- Three Super Bowl rings in four years.
- As soon as they got him some weapons (Randy Moss, Wes Welker), his numbers exploded to all-time great levels.
- Cameo in “Stuck On You” with teammate Lawyer Milloy; Supermodel wife.
- 4th quarter assassin.
NUMBER 16: JOSEPH F. MONTANA
- The most popular answer to the question “Who is the greatest NFL quarterback of all time?”
- Unmatched cool under pressure. Once pointed out John Candy in a Super Bowl to calm his huddle down.
- Nicknamed “Bird Legs.”
- Two iconic NFL plays in The Catch and the slant to John Taylor to win Super Bowl XXIII.
NUMBER 18: PEYTON F. MANNING
- Prolific modern prototype quarterback, former No. 1 overall draft pick (possibly the best of all time), and Super Bowl champion.
- The central force of The Manning Aura, which spreads greatness to all who touch it. Number 18 is so good his brother won a Super Bowl. Now that’s game.
- As high quality a collection of commercials and SNL shorts as any professional athlete ever.
- Four-time MVP and counting…
29-ERIC F. TURNER
- #3 Overall draft pick of the Cleveland Browns out of All-Pro Safety Factory UCLA (look it up).
- As strong a bringer of hat as ever stalked a ball carrier.
- Under-appreciated star whose career and life ended young and tragically with cancer in 2000.
34- VINCENT EDWARD “BO” F. JACKSON
- You name it, Bo knew it. All-Star Baseball player, but an absolute freak on the gridiron.
- Our Editor-In-Chief’s favorite player of all time and the 1st official inductee to the HALL OF SICKNESS.
- A video game legend.
- Ran over the Boz on national television. And let’s be honest: the Boz needed running over.
42- RONALD F. LOTT
- Cut off his finger for a W. Literally. Very John Wayne. Unquestionably one of the toughest players of all time.
- Unquestionably one of the five greatest defensive players of all time.
- Unquestionably one of the most ferocious hitters of all time.
- Four-time Super Bowl champion, ten Pro Bowls. Ten.
56- LAWRENCE F. TAYLOR
- The most dominant defensive force of his generation, and probably ever.
- Just like Lott, unquestionably one of the most ferocious hitters of all time.
- Responsible for some of the finest NFL Films sound bites.
- Legendary capacity for high-substance-intake, no-sleep dominance.
82- OZZIE F. NEWSOME
- The greatest Brown since Jim.
- Helped revolutionize the tight end position.
- One of the elite executives in NFL history, and a Super Bowl champion personnel evaluator.
- The last true vestige of Cleveland in Baltimore.
99- WARREN F. SAPP
- AKA “Big Papa Dubbs.”
- 96 and one half career sacks from the inside, and one Lombardi trophy.
- A Sickness favorite broadcasting legend.
- The first NFL-related entity to tweet the Sickness.